Jingle Bells Violet Style

Jingle Bells

Jingle bells

Jingle bells

All the way

Oh what fun

Something sleigh

HEY

ahhahaha it's a million times cuter in her little lispy baby voice and she has her own version of almost every song she knows.

Tis the Season

Well, the Holiday Season is upon us once more. For Daddy and I it means juggling three different families. Daddy's parents are divorced and his dad is remarried which is different for me since my parents are somehow still together even after the hell my brother and I have put them through :D. Daddy's dad and step mom (now referred to as Mamo and Papi) always get early Thanksgiving Day and Christmas morning. Since it's not just us but also Mamo's two daughters and son and their respective spouses and children it wouldn't be fair for us to move them around so we leave them as is. My parents (Granddaddy and GiGi) and Daddy's mom (Grammy) are on a weird sort of rotating schedule. My family always has a big Thanksgiving with all of my aunts and uncles and cousins that's on a random day in November so we just go to that and Grammy gets Thanksgiving evening. I feel bad for Grammy getting the later Thanksgiving because Violet is always tired and cranky and the food is still at least an hour away from being done by the time we get there. We always end up needing to leave earlier than we'd like to just because Violet goes into complete meltdown mode. This year for Christmas we're going to Grammy's on Christmas Eve (she's not totally thrilled but it's her year) and my parents for Christmas afternoon and getting together again with my whole family at some point this month. I'm actually really excited for Christmas this year because Violet is just discovering Santa and decorating and the Christmas movies. It kind of makes me long for the days when I used to sneak out of my room to see all the things I had gotten and to recount the Cokes in the house to make sure Santa was real :). Yes, I gave Santa and the reindeer Coca-Cola and carrots so they'd be healthy and have energy for the long ride. I also felt Santa would prefer to drink something with his face on it. Anyway, this post isn't super exciting but it's 3 in the morning so you get what you get.

Smarty Pants with a Side of Fury

So I am pretty sure my daughter will be smarter than me. I am fairly bright and I was good in school but if Violet's learning level continues at a steady rate then she may be all sorts of crazy smart. Now, I', not saying that she's like the kids who start putting their letter blocks together into full sentences at the age of 3 but she'll be well above average in her class.

I have to take a little side note here because I was very rudely interrupted. I have a laptop so I like to write my posts in the bath tub (well not physically in it but at a table next to it). Violet has recently figured out how to open all the doors in our house and we only have two covers for the door handles. We have one on her door, although we could move it now, because we used to close her door for naps and the other one is on our closet door because Violet keeps closing herself in and not being able to get back out. I like to have my little bit of alone time while in the bath so I locked the door today. Daddy is pissed off because of this and that really makes me angry. I told him I was going to take a bath and he knows Violet can open the door. Also, if he really needs to he can unlock it from the outside. Five minutes ago he came and literally pounded on the door to ask if something was a "browning disk". 1) I don't know what the fuck that is and 2) I am in the bath leave me alone.

I'm a little too angry and distracted to finish up what I was saying so I'll post more on why Violet's brain scares me a little bit, tomorrow.

Zombie Sexuality

If you're my friend on facebook then you probably already know that I've been ridiculously tired the past week or so. As the title of this post suggests, I've felt like a complete zombie even after sleeping a good nights sleep. It's like I don't sleep while I'm asleep which would go along well with the action packed dreams I've been having. The worse part about all of this is that it completely kills my patience. On an average day I have a pretty high level of patience and can deal with the screaming, banging, and question assaults. On exhausted days I can deal with one tantrum, half a banging, and only repeating a question once. I really try to distract the situation with offers of a book or something else that's fun but there are times when that doesn't work so we've had a lot of time outs this week. Daddy's been frustrated as well with Violet this week because she won't let him do anything. She wants him with her 24/7 and won't stop calling for him as long as he's home (and sometimes when he's not). Violet loves me, but I'm the one that gives time outs so she sees Daddy as the fun parent. He also gives her what she wants much faster than I do (if I do at all) So I think she also feels like he's the one to go to get her way. Although it's actually very difficult to give Violet what she wants because she never seems to know. I'll ask what she wants for a snack and she'll say "goldfish" so I go and get her a bowl of goldfish and like partway through pouring I hear her screaming "NO I DON'T WANT GOLDFISH" so then we go through a list of snacks and she doesn't want any of them. Then she'll want the snack we ran out of three days ago and finally settle of the original request of gold fish.... We repeat this pattern for every single meal. At big meals, however, I won't make her something different but I may add a side of something (like another fruit or vegetable).

On a non related note, I was reading recently that Teen Mom Amber (the one who's facing felony assault charges against her ex-fiance) was dating a couple of guys. What surprised me were some of the comments that people posted about her. There was a comment about her being a whore or a slut like every other comment. A lot of people were calling her a bad mom as well but not because of the assault but because of her dating life. I just don't understand why we're held to a different standard because of our age. If Amber was in her 30s and a single mom, people would praise her for getting herself out there and dating but because she's 20 (like me) and a mom she's some sort of deviant. If I were single and Violet was staying with her dad I would probably date casually. I wouldn't bring them home to Violet but I would date on my own time. I think it's age appropriate to not really be serious about any one guy (obviously not in all cases since I'm with Daddy and a couple of my friends are married) I don't know, I guess it annoys me because I wouldn't want people saying things like about me if I was single and starting to date again. It could be that those people really were just angry because Amber's not being the best mom she can be for a slew of other reasons.

Anyway,
If you can please donate a Knock Knock Joke for Violet in the comments section. If your comment doesn't show up, it's because you didn't type in the security thingy that shows up after you hit post. She really needs some new ones!!!

Knock Knock. Who's there? A Tantrum.

Due to many complicated, unforeseen circumstances and my sheer lack of motivation, I haven't posted in a few days. For those of you who actually read this blog instead of stumbling upon it from where ever it is you do that sort of thing, I apologize.

Lately Violet has been out of control. It's kind of like getting a preview of what to expect when she's a teenager. Every time her daddy and I tell her to do something she tells us no. It can be something big or small or even fun but she still won't do it. We give warnings and time outs in our house (and stickers when she's good) and I have to physically block her way out of the corner until her time is up. Of course, when I do that she thinks it's some kind of game which defeats the purpose of the time out. We're also at the point where we can't really take her to the store anymore because it's a nightmare. I'm fine with Violet walking on her own around the store as long as she either holds one of our hands or at least sticks close. However, Violet likes to dash off as fast as she can into the busiest aisles. When I go to catch her she starts screaming her head off and collapses onto the floor. It drives me nuts.

Sleeping is another big issue right now. After our bitch of a downstairs neighbor threatened to call CPS because Violet was banging on her door at nap time, we started putting her to bed in her play crib. That worked great until we went to Disney where the play crib was just a little too low and Violet learned how to climb out. Now she realizes she can climb out of the one at home and likes to bang on the door again. We've started leaving the door open and putting the gate up (although she climb over that the other day as well). We also turn on the hall light since Violet recently decided she's afraid of the dark, too. She's so nimble when she climbs it's hard to be upset. The way she manuevers, by the time she's on the ground there hasn't been a single sound. It scares you half to death, though, when you're in the other room and suddenly she's behind you giggling. Thanks to all of these extra measures Violet no longer takes a nap usually (because she can see us doing things with the door open) and it takes at least an hour to get her calm enough to go to bed.

On a lighter note, we've been working on our Knock Knock jokes. Violet doesn't really understand them, but she likes to do them. Daddy and I's collective memory of the jokes consists of two and then we recently got one off the Big Bang Theory on CBS. So Daddy and I will do the joke first and then try and get her to do it. She does great with the first part but can't quite get the punch line out. Ex.

Violet: Knock Knock
Mommy: Who's there?
Violet: banana
Mommy: Banana who?
Violet: at door.

She's little bit too literal about the whole thing and will also substitute any fruit for the banana. If you have any Knock Knock jokes that you would like to submit, feel free to do so in the comments section :).

It Puts the Home in FCH

One of the worst feelings in the world is to have absolutely no control over anything. It was bad enough that I was barely seventeen and pregnant but now I was roughly 2200 miles and eight states away from home. I wasn't even in the South like I had so fervently asked, but almost as far north as you could go without being in Canada. I was tired, sick to my stomach, and once again finding myself "kidnapped" on the orders of my own parents. I was set and determined to get any control back I could through any means I could and not let anyone take it away from me again.

The place I ended up was called Florence Crittenton Home and there are places similar to the one in Montana all over the United States. I didn't think I'd make a single friend there but somehow I found myself a home of sorts. Most of the other girls there were from Montana and had been sent there by the state for various reasons and some had even chosen to come (something I have trouble understanding even now). The Home is a safe place for young girls to come that provides food, shelter, and a number of counseling services. I feel like an ad right now but it really is a great place to find yourself if you're young and pregnant with little to no options. There are, of course, challenges to living with ten other pregnant or parenting teenagers but you form a bond with them that's very different. I went to high school in Montana and I made a few friends in school but I didn't hang out after school and I didn't have a cell phone to call them with so my only friends were those at the Home. I feel like the biggest challenge though was having Daddy so very very far away. He only got to visit twice total. Once when I was about six months along and then again when it was my due date. I was actually induced the night before he was supposed to leave and he only got one day with Violet before he had to go back home. She was two or three weeks old by the time he saw her again. It would have been unbearably hard for to cope with if I hadn't had Sarah, Kara, Maria, Jane, or any of the other amazing staff members there. Even through all my ire, hellfire, and stubborness they managed to get close to me. I met Jane first and the first thing I said to her was that I'd been kidnapped. It cracks her up now :). What I'm really trying to say here is that if you find yourself young and pregnant or just alone and pregnant there are places like this all over the country and before you find yourself too far down the rabbit hole you should check one out. Having a good support system is good no matter what you decide about your pregancy.


If you live in the Montana area and would like to donate you can go here

and if you live anywhere else you can google Florence Critteton and your state to find their website.

Disney

Walt Disney World was just shy of being everything I had hoped for, for Violet. There really is a certain majesty about the place that makes you so excited and happy. I'm not sure if it has to do with the rides, the spotless streets and sidewalks, the way you can just park your stroller and all your bags and not worry about someone stealing all your stuff, or that you're in Florida and there hasn't been a single mosquito. We went with Daddy's dad's side of the family. All total, there were fourteen people with 5 kids ranging from ages 7 to less than 1. It was really fun being with everyone but if I had the choice of who exactly to go with, I would choose one other family with children close to Violet's age. It's sometimes frustrating and inconvient to be with that many people and find rides for everyone and places to eat, etc. It may have been better if Violet was a little older and could go on more rides. We took her on every ride that she could go on though. I really thought I might be scarring her for life when I took her in the Haunted Mansion but she was totally fine with it. When we came out of the ride I asked her if she like it and she said she wanted to do it again. We took her back on the last night (it was like 10 pm) and went on it again and she still wasn't freaked out or anything. The other ride that I thought might scare her was Pirates of the Carribean but again she was having a great time, even when the ride got stuck for a little bit. I think her favorite ride out of everything was Dumbo. I wish we could have taken her on the Teacup ride or Winnie the Pooh but they were both closed for routine maitenence. They're actually doing a lot of construction at the Magical Kingdom right now. They're buiding Belle's castle and a Little Mermaid ride :D. I'm still recovering from the trip so I'll probably write more on Disney later, but for now this is it.

Disney Haitus

This time tomorrow the whole family will be enjoying Walt Disney World!!!! We are very very excited but we won't have internet. Disney offers wi-fi but you have to pay extra for it which seems a little odd considering most run down motels at least have free wi-fi. Whatever, the parks should be more than enough to occupy our time. I'm hoping to get a few pics of Violet that match some of the pictures of me from when I went to Disney. I'll update you guys on it as soon as I get back :)

A Day (and a half) with Violet

Yesterday we went over to my cousins house to visit with some of my family. My aunt and uncle from South Carolina were visiting and had brought a ridiculous amount of food. My aunt cooks like there's always going to be at least 30 people for dinner and makes at least four or five different dishes. In short, she's amazing. So there we were, having a good time and talking about my other uncle's cats. He lives on a farm and let some stray cats move in to keep the snakes away but now he's thinking he has too many cats. He also apparently found a snake in his bedroom the other day. The way he tells it, he just took a shoe and calmly knocked the snake out and took it outside. He is definitely a country man. Violet kept climbing up on a big chair during all of this so my dad found her a little tiny chair that she could sit on. She would get on and off and all over. Then, as she was simply moving the chair back some, the whole thing tipped over. Violet face planted on the hardwood floor and I think the chair might have hit her as well. Poor thing, her lip swelled up to three times its normal size and there was a lot of blood. She calmed down after a little bit and was happy to suck on an ice cube. Every once in a while for the rest of the day she'd look at me and go "my lips hurt" but she was real good about that ice.

Today the swelling has gone down a bunch and she should be ok by the time we leave for Disney. She freaked out when her daddy had to leave for work though. She thinks he's the fun parent because I'm the one that usually has to give her a time-out. Speaking of freaking out, she just ran up to me and told me she couldn't find her eyes. Earlier she was playing with her letter magnets and then ran up to the living room toy box and went "hey guys can you help me with my letters?" cutest thing ever.

Thoughts of an Insomniac Part Deux

I have a really hard time sleeping, as I've mentioned before. Along with my inability to sleep I also have a bit of an anxiety problem. My anxiety is usually like background noise and I don't really notice it but lately I've come to realize that the more stress I'm under the worse my anxiety gets which makes it so I can't sleep. It's really a vicious cycle since the worse I sleep the more stressed I am the next day.

Another thing I've recently noticed is that when my anxiety levels are high and I'm stressed I get really paranoid. I start worrying about all the things that could happen to Violet and what would happen if there were an intruder or a fire and it really starts to freak me out. Some nights I have to physically go get her and have her sleep in our bed just so my mind will calm down a smidge. This always annoys Violet's daddy. Violet is not a calm sleeper and she'll kick you and roll over and slap you in the face with her arm. She'll also sleep for like 2 hours and then wake up and want to play with you or push daddy out of the bed. I think she feels like he's too big to be in bed with us or something like that. She may just want his pillows all to herself.

I really wish I could hook up a machine that can show you what people are thinking visually. Professor Von Drake made one in some Disney movie I watched. My mind races so much it just makes me wonder what's going through Violet's head and what she thinks about things. She's pretty good at verbalizing what she's thinking but it may not be the whole story or she may not know how to say something she's thinking. It'd be really helpful to have for babies so you can give them exactly what they want even down to the type of food they want. Actually I could use that now to figure out what Violet wants for lunch since she won't tell me! Oh well.... One can dream...

Gabbafest 2010

Last Saturday the family took a trip to see Yo Gabba Gabba Live. We packed diapers and some juice and hit the road. The trip was only supposed to take an hour and a half at the most. Our first snafu occurred in choosing which car we would take. I finally convinced Violet's daddy that we should take my car (it's bigger and has more leg room) however, the conditions of this were that I had to drive. I like driving and I'm not a terrible driver but I'm directionally challenged and even the GPS can confuse me (which happened twice on our trip). Things were fine, even though I got a little turned around at one point, until we were about 30 min away. It was then that Violet's daddy realized that he had forgotten the tickets. I love him but he turns into a real jackass when he's freaking out and that stresses me out which is never a good thing when I'm the one driving. The tickets can just be printed out on a normal printer so he frantically called his mom seeing if he had left a copy of the tickets there or if she could print them and fax them to us (we were going to stop at a Best Buy or Staples). She didn't have a copy but we ended up not needing her to fax since we just printed it at the Best Buy. I was also told to go the wrong way by my GPS to get to the Best Buy which only served to freak Violet's daddy out more. While we were stopped I decided to change Violet's diaper. Lo and behold she had had a bad case of diarrhea. The tights she was wearing had to be isolated because they'd been leaked on. Back on the road and poopy free we finally reached the venue. They had tons of gear to buy and food for adults and children. We got daddy a Biz's Beat of the Day T-shirt and Violet a tour T-shirt. We also got a cute tote which will come in handy on our trip to Disney later this month. Our seats were front row center. We sprung for the deluxe ticket package and it was definitely worth it. The show started with DJ Lance Rock coming out and a release of streamers and confetti, lots and lots of streamers and confetti. Oh I forgot to mention that Violet sort of made a friend. They were cute together the first couple of times they hugged and high fived. Things quickly got weird when the other little girl wouldn't stop hugging Violet and Violet got really tired of it. She was also tired in general since she hadn't slept and was a little bit sick. The special musical guest was Leslie Hall you can find the song she sung Here. She wore that outfit and the background dancers wore the tiger heads with leotards (high cut leotards). The rest of the show was just like the TV version, the dancey dance guest was Do It (he was alright), Biz came out and did some beats with the kids, they released a bunch of balloons, had a bubble blower (Violet, our stuff, and I were all covered in soap), at one point DJ Lance Rock pointed and Violet and gave her a high five :). More Streamers and confetti were released and for us only the first half of the party was over.

Our deluxe tickets came with a special backstage party. This is what made forking over that extra cash totally worth it. They had food from Revolutionary Foods which Violet loves. They make these little Jammy Sammies that she could probably live off of if we let her. We got to take a professional picture with the Gabba friends. Leslie Hall came and did some more dancing with the kids, Biz came back out and played with everyone, and best of all, DJ Lance Rock read a story to the kids and even posed for some pics even though the organizers didn't seem to want him to. Violet loved DJ Lance the best. The large characters kind of freaked her out which is similar to what happened when her daddy took her to see Sesame Street Live. All in all it was an amazing show and everyone loved it :)... Violet had a blast even though she ended up having that terrible diarrhea three times total that day. The last one was the worst and she ended up having to drive half of the way home in nothing but a diaper and her sweatshirt and her daddy and I praying she didn't poop again because we were out of carry along diapers and clothes for her.

Crocodile Tears

Violet has finally reached the age of the fake crying. When I don't give into one of her many demands she'll open her mouth, frown, and do this weird low moaning thing. I think she thinks it's how it sounds when she's crying? Luckily, she only does it for a second before she decides she actually wants something else or simply forgets and goes off to play. Neither her dad nor I enjoy whining so I'm glad she doesn't do it constantly or very long.

Violet also really enjoys doing things for herself. We've had to take her laundry basket out of her room because she'd try and redress herself with the clothes in it. It's very cute but some of her clothes have juice, pee pee, or other such stains on them. Right now she's eating a Mashup from Revolutionary Foods (really love them, they make great snack things for toddlers and older kids) and she keeps wanting me to put the top back on it so she can take it back off. I love how incredibly smart she is and how quickly she figures things out. Violet can already turn the TV on using either the remote or the TV and she can work both our ipad and iphones.

and now a Violet version of a popular Children's song

Row Row Row

Gently the Stream

Merrily Merrily

Rocking Chair

RAWR

Transatlanic Porn Star

So today's title has nothing to do with the actual post. On the way home from the grocery store there was a Death Cab for Cutie song on which made me think of another one of their songs which made me think of today's title.


I don't know if I've mentioned this before but my daughter eats like she's a truck driver. There are times when she's not really hungry or she's tired and cranky but for the most part she's ALWAYS hungry. While at the store I went to get her a Hungry Man meal and her dad goes "does she really need that much?" All it took was a look and he realized what he had said and recanted his question. You're probably thinking my daughter is a chunkster now. Violet weighs 23.2 lbs on a good day. She eats and eats but has a really really hard time gaining weight. Most kids her age are around 30 lbs (at least) by now and she's the size of most one year olds. We haven't really figured out why she has such a hard time gaining yet. Her daddy and I have no problem gaining weight though I am a small person in general. The biggest thing about Violet (other than her personality) is her head. While her height and weight stay in the less than 3 percentile, her head is usually in the 25th or larger percentile. It's normal for children to have larger heads but it's kind of funny to see just how much bigger her head is than the rest of her according to the numbers.

Staying on the topic of food, I really don't enjoy cooking on a regular basis. I like making meals for special occasions ( I make dinner for my dad on his birthday and Father's Day) but not on like a day to day basis. It's hard to do in our house anyway since Violet's dad and I don't like many of the same things and we have really plain tastes and I like for Violet to eat really healthy so if I did cook I'd end up making three different dinners each night. I make two things at least once a week, Spaghetti and Tachos. (Tachos are really taco meat, fritos, and cheese in more of a salad type dish but my boyfriend started calling them Tachos so it stuck) I'm the only one that eats either of those things. Violet's food can usually be popped in the microwave or the oven for a few minutes so I don't consider that cooking and her dad usually makes himself a frozen pizza... The pizzas really annoy me. One day Violet was pretend eating him and I asked her what he tasted like and she said "Dr. Pepper, Pizza, and Hamburgers." I think you have a problem when your two year old can sum up the gist of everything you eat.

Let's Get Physical

I've been pretty terrible about exercising for at least a year and a half now. Before I was pregnant I danced pretty much every day and I ate decently. When I got pregnant I started to eat better although there were days when all I wanted was some rice with soy sauce or a giant plate of mashed potatoes with gravy. I also walked to school some and around the neighboorhood (although I did try to get out of that as much as possible). After Violet was born I went back to dance but I only did one night a week and my diet went downhill quickly. I haven't gone back to dance since classes ended and I've learned that it's much easier to sustain my weight than lose weight. Last night/this morning, however, I got off my slightly larger ass and finally put on that pilates DVD I bought like 4 months ago but never even opened. I LOVE pilates because it's a workout I can actually feel working while I'm doing it and it doesn't blow out my knees like running does. My reasons for working out may mostly center around the fact that my mom still freaks out when I'm not sucking in because I have a nice ring of belly bulge.... It's not often (in public) that you find me not sucking in like my life depends on it since I don't want to look like I'm pregnant again and it makes my boobs look extra perky. Seriously, If you want to look like you have extra upper body muscle or extra cleavage just suck in your stomach. I've also been told that it helps tone your mid section since it's working some of your core muscles. Eventually I may also get my diet back under control but I feel like I may lose focus on my exercise if I do that... I'm not super woman (because if I was I would have more problems with my daughter shooting laser beams out of her eyes and picking up the family car than trying to lose weight) also if I was super woman I could probably eat whatever I want and still be a size zero.

Jeremiah was a Stretch Mark

Well, I was going to treat everyone to some videos of my daughter... However, her dad vetoed that plan. If you would like to lodge a formal complaint you can flood his comments on his blog at www.grapebeans.blogspot.com . Maybe a passive aggressive protest will help him change his mind :)

As I was doing my usual after bath post mortem in the mirror, I realized what I needed to talk about today. In all my years of sex ed and health education I was never told all the unpleasent things that occur from being pregnant. No one ever told me that there was a strong possibility that I'd end up with stretch marks all the way around my belly. I wasn't informed that my days of wearing a bikini would be over before I was even able to legally vote. Young girls who are more educated about all aspects of pregnancy would probably be more likely to either not have sex or at least be more careful. Teachers tended to focus on the horrifyingly gross side effects of STDs and STIs which is all well and good and it does encourage condom usage but not birth control usage. Condoms are very effective when used properly but a vast number of people (young and old) don't know the proper way to use a condom (surprisingly). Condoms aren't 100% effective even when used completely right and can break as well. I think more girls need to be informed about all the birth control options and use both birth control and condoms if they decide to actually have sex. When I was in middle school and high school there was no way I was ever going to broach the subject about birth control with my mother because she'd automatically assume I was having sex and I really wasn't. (at least not until well into high school) Hell, my mom and I never even talked about sex. When I was in either fifth or sixth grade she gave me 2 books on puberty and that was it. One of those books covered sex but I can't remember if it even talked about birth control and it surely was not a substitute for actually talking to an informed human being. A lot girls in America have a similar situation with their moms. We love them, it's just really hard to talk to them about some things with out it seeming like we're actually doing them instead of just wanting to be educated. Not to harp on stretch marks, but if my books or anyone had told me about them I probably would have been even more vigilant. I already have scars on my back and one on my knee that I'll most likely have for the rest of my life. Now I have a Freddy Krueger stomach to match and a scar from Violet being born. We hear stories and see on TV where they talk about how you'll poop yourself during labor but what I never notice anyone talking about is how during the crowning, you'll likely get tearing and some doctors even preform an episiotomy which is where they make a surgical incision on the lower vaginal area. After birth they stitch you up. I think that'd do a pretty good job of scaring most teenage girls away from having sex until they're ready to have a baby. We should show Ricki Lake's birthing video or the video of the women giving birth in the Black Sea. Any birthing video would do though. I would show mine around, but too many people would probably find it hilarious since I say "I just need to poop" at least ten times and you can't see anything since we only had enough people to hold my legs and feed me ice and not enough for someone to hold the camera. Remember to flood www.grapebeans.blogspot.com with comments so you can watch gems like that. :)

Urinary Discourse

A lot of women seem to have a problem with leaking urine now and then. Whether it's from coughing, sneezing, laughing too hard, or just moving the wrong way. It usually occurs from having kids or just plain getting old. I know it happened to me a few times while I was in my third trimester and I can only think it would get worse the more kids you're carrying at once. However, I think I prefer to leak a little rather than feel like I have to pee 24/7 but not actually have to go. I have a UTI right now and it is positively awful. The doctor gave me some meds today so hopefully that will take care of it but so far I've been on the toilet more than off of it the past few days.

Update: I fell asleep partway through this post and I can't really remember what my point was but my medicine seems to be helping. So now for something completely different.

We're trying to teach Violet her alphabet and how to spell her name. She's doing pretty well so far thanks to a niffty little device my mom got her. It's a toy that you put on the fridge (magnetized) and it comes with letter magnets. When Violet puts a letter on the toy and pushes, it sings the name of the letter and all the sounds it makes. "Every letter makes a sound V says vuh. Every letter makes a sound V says vuh." Violet is completely obsessed with it and we hear it at least 20 times a day but it seems to be working well. We also like to write her name a lot so she's up to knowing the first 4 letters of her name. The letter E seems to confuse her a bit though. Not to get all sappy, but everyday Violet just amazes me more and more. She's almost too smart but I wouldn't have her any other way. She is very much her own person and I can tell she's going to be a lot like I was. Very independant and not really caring what other people think.

Dream Phone Tag

Violet and I just got up and are watching Special Agent Oso on Disney which really doesn't have anything to do with the rest of this post. I'm pretty tired still so you'll have to just stick with it if this thing gets derailed. So anyway, last night I had a pretty odd dream about one of my old next door neighbors. I grew up with a bunch of guys so I guess it shouldn't really shock me that I'd have an interesting dream about one of them. It's not like it hasn't happened before. Last night, in the dream, I was back at my parents' house when I decided to go see my across the street neighbor, Thomas. It seemed like a much longer trip over there than in real life and I ran into one of my old dance teachers who was headed over there to ask his mom something. When we got there the house was suddenly riverfront (the road had turned into a river) and there were all these other houses built around it. Thomas and Charles (my actual next door neighbor) come out and we go around to the back porch. Thomas then starts taking off my pants for some reason but then his mom comes out so my pants rebutton themselves and we go to play in the yard that's suddenly sprung up in place of the river. My house is also just behind the yard as well and we have a new fence that has a code and I manage to set off.... multiple times. Now that I really think about it, I think the alarm on the fence was from John's phone going off. He resets his alarm at least 3 times and it really pisses me off. He does it every damn day. I don't understand why he doesn't just set it for later to begin with. I know I kind of glazed over the whole Thomas starting to take off my pants thing but I was wearing jeans and only the top button and part of the zipper were undone so there wasn't even any underwear revealed. When I was little I always thought that it was more than likely that I would marry a neighbor. I knew that if I had to marry one, it might as well be Thomas. He's one of like my all time favortite people. I'm kind of mad at him right now, however. Thomas has decided to not pick up my phone calls or call back when I call him. I only think about it when I'm back in town and I actually have free time which only occurs once every few months. Next time, I'm just going to fucking go over there. So this post has been kind of random and weird, much like my life.

Canadian Leftovers

Well, I can't sleep and I'm thinking it had something to do with the leftover Kanki (I spelled it wrong last post, whoops) whispering to me to eat it from the fridge. It's longing calls finally became too much to bear so I'm stuffing my face with it right now. I finally figured out how to see who's been viewing my blog and while I would like to say that I'm just tech savvy, in all truth and honesty it was purely by accident. On that note, I would like to give a shout out to the one person from Canada who has at least clicked on my blog! Pretty sure I know who you are but if you're actually a complete stranger then that's totally cool too. I have to respect, well respect's not really the right word... Appreciate (better) someone who lives so damn far north. I do not enjoy going over the Mason-Dixon line... hell, I hate going further north than the state line in any season except summer. The further north, the smaller the window of acceptable weather. I lived in Montana when I was pregnant during winter, spring, and summer. Never. Again. It snowed while I was there. I know what you're thinking, "but you were there during winter, of course it snowed, wouldn't it be weird if it didn't snow? What is your IQ? Do I need to find someone to help you?" Yes, it was pretty much complete snow until like April when there was only the occasional flurry. Then it snowed in fucking June. Montana is very beautiful and the people are great but I could never live long term in a state where it sometimes snows in the damn summer. God only knows what could happen in the summer in Canada. So again, thank you to my Canadian looker, may you not get frost bite next July.

Reboot

So, it's obviously been a while since I last posted. Granted, I don't think anyone's really given a shit since only like 2 people read this. Today is my birthday :) and I am officially not a teenager anymore. I'd be excited about that regardless of whether I was a mom or not but it'll be nice to no longer be a "teen mom." It's been a pretty relaxed day today. I got up early and watched some TV (No Ordinary Family, Raising Hope, Running Wilde) and then Violet and John got up. We're doing a lot of things this month and we ordered my Nancy Drew game last night ( :) ) so I wasn't expecting anything but a verbal Happy Birthday. I was pleasently surprised when John came in with Violet holding a really sweet Winnie the Pooh card!!! Then John went to work and Violet and I played and we both took a long nap. In a few min I should probably get ready for dinner. My parents are taking us out to Khanki (best fucking place ever) it's kind of a yearly tradition that is usually accompanied by a chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins but I didn't ask for the cake this year. I am also getting a water filter from them as well. I know, my life is SUPER exciting.... (that's sarcasm if you weren't aware) We need one but with Yo Gabba Gabba Live and Disney, we just can't afford it this month... More on that later though because I really need to get ready before John shits himself :D

Moving Day is Almost Upon Us

*Sigh* I really wish there was a way to just transport all your stuff from one place to the next without having to pack it or carry it... Our apartment is slowly emptying into boxes upon boxes and it's a little sad. Today I have to sort out the stuff that I never unpacked from my move from Montana... It's mostly cold weather stuff and clothes that no longer fit (or were gross to begin with, thanks mom) since I'm no longer carrying 35 lbs of weight solely in my belly or that don't fit because i was carrying 35 extra pounds and I haven't quite evened out yet. Yes, it's been 2 years but I'm not big into other forms of exercise besides dance and there's no gym in our current residence.

On an unrelated note

I made deviled eggs for Violet yesterday. I got the recipe off of www.nickjr.com I love that website. It has all sorts of healthy and fun meals to make and most of them are fairly simple. The hardest part for me was making the hard boiled eggs. I'm good with almost everything else in cooking but eggs and I just don't mix unless I am making an omellet. Violet seemed to like them though so that's a plus :)

On yet another unrelated note

I'm trying to make a guest list for Violet's bday party. It's kind of annoying because I don't want to invite too many people since we're funding it, but at the same time family alone is 15 people not including us. I love our collective family but I need other people there. My poor boyfriend works so much he's too tired to ever really want to go out with friends and the most of the people he works with are weirdos so the guest list is family and my friends. Next year it'll be Violet's friends at least and we'll have a seperate family party :). I really can't wait til GabbaFest 2010 begins though!!!!

Shout Out

Since yesterday was Father's day and I didn't have time to post, I thought today I'd give a shout out to my boyfriends blog.

You can find him at www.grapebeans.blogspot.com

He posts his artwork, which is weird but good, and occasionally gives his insight into our lives. He's the sensitive artistic type. By sensitive I don't mean he whines and cries a lot (although there was that one time in the car, jk), I mean he won't eat leftovers... on a pathological scale...

Anyway, that's my shout out, please visit his site, you'll like it!

The Television Debacle

So, Violet's favorite show is Yo Gabba Gabba. If you haven't seen this gem of a show and you have young kids, I suggest getting them into it. It's one of the few, if not only, young children's show that adults can get into as well. They feature current popular bands and actors. The first time you watch though, you'll think someone is fucking with you and gave you a hefty dose of acid. Once that reaction wears off, you'll enjoy it, I promise. The downside is that Yo Gabba Gabba comes on at pretty random times on Nick Jr and I often find myself trying in vain to find something that Violet can watch and enjoy that won't make me have the need to either gauge my eyes out, run screaming from the room, or change the channel. The only other shows that seem to pique Violet's interest are Ni Hao Kia-lan (the Chinese Dora) , Backyardigans, Sesame Street, and Wow Wow Wubbzy. We've tried a few others on Playhouse Disney but Violet gets bored with them after about 5 min.

On the note of the Backyardigans, I was watching that yesterday with Violet and some questions arose that need answering. The characters are all animal children that talk and walk on two legs. There's a penguin, a moose, a hippo, a kangaroo, and some purpley spotted thing. The episode centered around 3 of the characters racing, 2 of them being terribly competitive with each other, and the third going slow but steady. Basically a retelling of the tortoise and the hare. My questions came when the racers were riding horses and a donkey. The animals couldn't talk or do anything else that the main characters could. Were there other species in this fictional world that had also not developed into talking, upright beings? Were there even moose, hippos, kangaroos, and penguins that couldn't talk as well? I, for one, would like answers Nick Jr.

Nipple Confusion

Breastfeeding is a big topic for new moms, myself included. It's been the norm for the whole of humanity until the introduction formula. Because of the cost, using formula became a status symbol and still prevails today. Companies use hospitals and doctor offices to peddle their product to new moms. They tout the health benefits and the DHA levels. Breast milk, however, is what all babies need in some form or another. Breast milk contains antibodies which boost the immune system of newborns, something formula cannot imitate. It's like buying the off brand snacks. Sure they'll taste similar, but they're not the same thing. Don't get me wrong either, I understand that not all women can breastfeed, but all women should at least try. My milk wasn't fatty enough for my daughter and she wasn't gaining enough weight so she supplemented with formula. I still continued to nurse her, but I'd follow up with formula. For those who don't feel comfortable with their child attached to their nipple, there is always pumping.
Public feeding is also an issue in our society today. People seem to get really outraged when a woman breast feeds her child in a public place and it really pisses me off. Most women try to be very discreet and modest when feeding a baby. They use blankets and other covers but still people seem to have a hissy fit. I still haven't seen anyone breastfeeding on TV either. Ex, Kendra (from the Girls Next Door) has shown her boobs on TV more times than I can count but I have not seen her breastfeed her son once. She expressed interest in it while pregnant and I think she would be a good person to just get it out there and be seen.
I know, I'm on a bit of a rant here but this is something I really believe in. The World Health Organization recommends exclusive breastfeeding until 6 months of age and breastfeeding and food until 2 years or beyond. That's right people, 2 years. As your child grows, your breast milk changes to suit their needs. So don't think that you're giving them the same milk as when they were babies. There's also a false rumor going around that toddlers who breastfeed are more depedant than their formula counterparts. Breastfed toddlers are actually more indepedant and healthier since they get the antibodies that I talked about before. I'm not ashamed to admit that I breast fed my daughter until she was about a year and a half. She then just stopped and drinks regular whole milk now and is very indepedant. Some children do wean themselves early and some need the comfort of breastfeeding beyond 2 years. After a year of age, it's less about the food aspect of the milk and more about the antibodies and comfort. It makes the child feel secure and allows them to feel better about exploring the world because they feel very bonded with you.

alright, that was my little soapbox moment for breastfeeding. As I said, I'm very passionate about the subject and could really write a lot more on the subject but I'll save it for another day.

Thoughts of an Insomniac

So last night, when I was not sleeping yet again, I started reflecting back on my life thus far. Violet is turning two in July and so I'm a bit nostalgiac and all my friends are out of school for the summer and traversing across the globe. On one hand, yes, I am a little jealous that I can't just take off for Italy or England for a semester but on the other hand I like where my life is right now. I spend my days with Violet since she's no longer in daycare ( a rant for another day) and we just pretty much stay at home. If I wasn't me, I think it'd be really really lonely for people because I really don't see people other than family and that's not that often either. There are no moms in the area that are my age and while the older moms are nice, it's like talking one of my mom's friends or their kids. My friends, while i love them, also can't relate to my life. They're in college, they go drinking and partying, and I can't go out unless john's home early and usually I'm done for the night around 10 or 11. I wasn't the party going type before I got pregnant so I'm not sure why I feel like I'm missing out sometimes. I wouldn't be going regardless but it's like being told you can never have ice cream and you've never tried it. Everyone told you it's great but you never got around to it and now you never will. I do plan on living it up on my 21st though. John and Violet can go stay at his moms house because I plan on partying all night long and I don't want to wake them when I come stumbling in at 4 in the morning. Violet will be 3 and I don't think she wants to see her mom drunk off her ass at that age. More teen moms need to get out the message to girls and boys in highschool that once they have a kid, the partying is over. Your life becomes 100% about your child and there's not a lot of time for yourself anymore. Between housework, cooking, and taking care of your child there will be just enough time to sleep and maybe get a shower. If you're a yetti like me, shaving has to wait until Violet is in bed for the night and I'm not exhausted. On top of that, many teen parents are single which means they also have to have a job so good luck finding the time or money to go out. This fall I really want to go to some of the local high schools and just tell them that unless they want to feel 30 before they even turn 20, they should abstain from sex or at least use proper birth control (the more the better). TV isn't helping either with their unrealistic views of teen parenting. If I see one more show use teen pregnancy as a go to plot line I'm gonna lose my shit. The same goes for TV movies. Somebody's getting drop kicked from whatever network crosses me.

A Day With Adventureland

I'm exhausted. Last night was another night filled with Violet waking up in the middle of the night and trying to get her to sleep in our bed. I'm running off of like 3 hours of sleep and since my boyfriend has work, I'm on Violet duty all day. Right now she's hanging out in her room playing kick the door ( One of her favorites) and singing to herself. She makes up some pretty good songs that make zero sense. I'm watching Adventureland, it's really funny but in an understated kind of way. I never took myself to be one for independant films but lately I've found myself more and more into them. The other day I watched The Poker House and while it was tragically sad, I still enjoyed the movie. Uh-Oh, I can't see Violet and it's gotten really quiet. Hopefully she's ready for a nap because Momma could sure use one.

Awesome...

So today was a complete failure... I ended up staying up til 5 last night because my daughter, Violet, wanted to sleep in our bed instead of her own. That would have been fine if she'd gone to bed. Instead she'd lay down and cuddle and then pop right back up and start telling you one thing or another, or trying and tickle her daddy or hit him in the face, or make him roll over. So I ended up sleeping all day today. Like beyond out of it until about 5:30. Now before anyone's panties get in a bunch, my boyfriend was home so he took care of Violet today. I did need the sleep and it's nice to get a break from the constant talking. A lot of the stuff my daughter says is REALLY funny but she also does something i call the JibberJabber Assault. This is when she won't stop talking for about an hour straight and wants you to be engaged in what she's saying that entire time. I can do the first 20 min or so but after that I want stuff whatever I can find in my ears. Ignoring her makes it worse too. She'll repeat the last thing she said making it louder and louder everytime and then if you're close to her she'll grab your face and turn it towards her. Toddlers should really be used to break suspects. I loved it when she was little and she'd talk a lot but it was mostly gibberish and she'd say something once and be done with it. Understanding her is a plus. I like being able to know what she wants and not just guessing. Motherhood is definitely a balance. Sometimes that balance is enjoying your child and not enjoying some of the things your child does.

Day One

So this is my first day with my blog. My wonderful boyfriend agreed to help me with it, but mostly he just glanced over while playing Super Mario Galaxy 2. He's trying to tell me to note something in here right now but can't quite seem to get the words out from the dire straights his game is in. Our daughter just got home early from a weekend at the beach. She had fun but we were hoping she'd stay until at least tomorrow so we could get the packing and cleaning well underway for our move. We have a lot of junk to sort and pack. I'm not a fan of moving but in this case, I'm all for it. Uh-Oh I hear the banging of little fists upon her door. Nap time is over... time to get to work